Things you should agree with your neighbours if you live in very very close proximity

• Fish will only be cooked once a week. You'll agree to send them your forthcoming week's diary on a Sunday night, and they can arrange for a fish supper on the night you're planning on staying out.
• If either of you fall up the duff, you'll each promise not to practice controlled crying. Because whilst leaving the child to cry, and cry, AND CRY, might make your life easier in the long run, it's not worth it in the short term. Perhaps it could be instigated whilst you're on holiday.
• If your neighbour goes into your loft, he should promise to keep it a secret if there are tiles missing and that every time it rains it's coming straight through to the ceiling.
• If someone leaves a bag of clothes for the charity pick up, but you have to put them out before 9am, and no sane freelancer is up and about at 9am, they should just take the iniative and put them on the kerb. Perhaps when they're doing the school run.
• The school run should be done in silence.