Well done me. Seriously, well done. Because whilst other people regard calendars as definable parameters around which to work, I regard them as more of a fluid concept of time, where one Monday at 8pm bears a remarkable similarity to next Monday at 8pm. Which is why I sat in a Slug and Lettuce this evening for 7 minutes, wondering why they were later than me (SERIOUSLY, A SLUG AND LETTUCE. I WOULD RATHER SIT IN A WETHERSPOONS TIMES ONE MILLION. IN FACT, FUCK IT. I LIKE WETHERSPOONS. THERE. I SAID IT.).
Aaaanyway. It meant I missed the end of Gizmodo's live blog. And I'm sorry, that's still the best liveblog.
I'll admit, I may have done the pre stages to tearing up a little this evening, when I realised no one wanted me to sit there and blog about what people were wearing, what I thought of the music choices and, yes, the number of megapixels on the camera. Don't tell anyone, but I miss writing on Shiny Shiny. Not at 10am, but at about 2pm, sometimes, I miss it.
So. Taaaadaaaaah. Here's what I think of the iPhone 3GS.
What a fucking stupid name.
It seems to me, and I realise I sound like someone calling into a radio talk show already, this is all about the camera. Yes, it's faster, but honestly, the iPhone 3G speeds were not that shit. The O2 coverage was pretty shit, but I really think that's a UK issue, rather than an Apple issue.
The camera is 3 megapixels, and it's got autofocus, but here's another pro-Apple revelation - I did not have an issue with the previous camera. I won't get into my 'what the fuck are you going to do with your 12 megapixel camera phone images? Make life sized cut outs of your friends in case they realise you're a moron and the cut outs are all you've got left?' rant, but suffice to say, the research in my head suggests that these photos never get further than Facebook. For which the current camera is sufficient. And there's no flash. If I were Apple, I would have skipped over the whole camera debacle in embarrassment at not having a flash.
And video. I work in online video, and even I don't think video on phones is worth much. I'm sure in years to come sentences like that will get me strung up, but unless you've got a manitee that likes to squash itself or a Thing that likes to get tickled, you're basically left with sub-happy slapping fare. Also, ha! That last link was a lot less rude than you thought it might be.
The nail in the coffin is the built in compass. I don't know about you (I don't. Really. Who are you? Why are you here?) but I don't mind spinning in circles on Oxford Street because I'm trying to work out where Dean Street is from where I'm standing. I think it makes me look Continental.
'Voice Over!' I hear you cry. And to your cries, I point out that you are British. And that every time you answer a call on your hands free, you have to hold the microphone up to your mouth, so that the people around you know that you are talking to someone important, rather than muttering to yourself about sign-off and embargoes. The chances of you jauntily asking your phone 'Who's this?'. Significantly less than you telling the person next to you at the bus stop that you like their shoes.
In essence. In summary. In conclusion. This is not an upgrade. They've made the 3.0 software too attractive to current owners to expect them to upgrade. Best case scenario, this recruits a legion of new phone users who were waiting to combine applications with mediocre camera facilities.
But no, I will not be forgoing food for this phone.
PS. I'd put in a current photo, but really. It's not like the S & M fascia really translates.
.....YES IT.....IS NOT~~~~~
Posted by: LEE | June 09, 2009 at 04:52 PM